71 Thoughts You Have When You Fly

March 13, 2015
  1. I hate parking at the airport.
  2. Why didn’t I get someone to give me a ride?
  3. Oh, because I’m taking a flight at the crack of dawn.
  4. Spot, consider yourself grabbed. Victory.
  5. I might’ve packed too much.
  6. Did I really need that third pair of shoes?
  7.  Yes. Yes I did.
  8.  Whoa. That check-in line is long.
  9.  Good thing I checked in online. Score.
  10.  And I don’t have to check luggage.
  11.  Damn, I’m good at this.
  12.  OK, there’s no way that’s the security line.
  13.  It’s…monstrous.
  14.  OK, no problem, I can handle this.
  15.  Maybe I should get Pre-Check. Do I fly enough for that?
  16.  La la la la…lines are fine. I’ve got time, right?
  17.  Still an hour before boarding. So yeah.
  18.  Shoes off, jacket off.
  19.  Liquid baggie out.
  20.  Don’t beep don’t beep don’t beep.
  21.  Didn’t beep. #WINNING
  22.  Mmm…I should get a sandwich for the plane.
  23.  Eleven dollars for a sandwich?
  24.  Fine. Darn it.
  25.  Oh, there’s my gate.
  26.  Wait, we’re boarding already?
  27.  When did that happen?
  28.  Oh, they didn’t call my section yet.
  29.  I guess I’ll just mill around here aimlessly for a bit.
  30.  La la la…shake it off, shake it off, oh oh. 
  31.  Hey, my group! I’m outta here.
  32.  Why are all of the overhead bins taken?
  33.  No, seriously. Who puts two bags and their coat up there?
  34.  Please don’t make me check this bag.
  35.  Oh, thank you, lovely flight attendant, for finding a spot for my bag.
  36.  OK, aisle seat, just you and me for the next two hours.
  37.  Safety briefing time!
  38.  Tube may not inflate.
  39.  Hey, someone did my crossword puzzle and left the magazine! Rude.
  40.  Floor lights will change color.
  41.  Closest exit may be behind you – there it is!
  42.  Ooh, here we go!
  43.  Wheeeeee!
  44.  We’re flying!
  45.  Really, guys, we’re in the sky.
  46.  How is everyone around me not excited?
  47.  Ugh, fine. Don’t think it’s awesome.
  48.  Alright, book, let’s do this.
  49.  Oh, hello drink cart.
  50.  Why is ginger ale so much better on a plane?
  51.  Dunno, just is.
  52.  Did he just say turbulence?
  54.  Crisis averted.
  55.  Well done, me.
  56.  Oh good, a crying baby.
  57.  I’m sorry for your pain, crying baby.
  58.  But I’m also sorry for mine.
  59.  How that man is sleeping through the combined noise of the plane, the crying baby, and his own snoring is astonishing.
  60.  Aww, crying baby is actually kind of cute when it stops crying.
  61.  Oh right, I have a sandwich!
  62.  Sandwich, you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.
  63.  Except for that nasty congealed mayo-type stuff.
  64.  That’s pretty gross.
  65.  Back to book.
  66.  Final descent?
  67.  Sweet.
  68.  Don’t you glare at me for looking out the window.
  69.  Your window seat does not give you exclusive rights to the view.
  70.  Touchdown!
  71.  So, when can we do that again?